Joke 1: 

            An English man a Scottish man and an Irish man were in a plane when it crashed in the desert.  They were the only survivors of the crash.  There was a town about 100 miles from where they were so the decided to try to walk it.
  They each took one thing with then on the walk.
  "I'm taking this 5 gallon bottle of water in case we get thirsty" said the English man
  "I'm taking this food in case we get hungry" said the Irishman
  The scottish man then rips one of the planes doors of the plane and starts too drag it behind him.
  After about ten minuets the English man and the Irish man turn to the scottish man and say,
  "Why did you bring that door with you"
  "Well..." says the Scottish man "I can wind the window down if we get hot."